Sunshine & Moonbeams
by shiawasena neko
Summary: Set directly after the episode Dethdad. Toki freaks out and runs into the woods again, where his life changes forever. Mpreg. Don't like, don't read. Possibly OOC.
1. Chapter 1

Distraught after the death of his father, Toki had run back into the woods in the moments after he died. None of the bandmembers had been particularly surprised - Toki handled stress in very random ways - but it was still a pain in the ass to track him down. It was damn cold, and they were all tired.

"Wes don'ts needs him," Skwisgaar had said. "Wes shoulds leaves him."

Nathan had sighed.

"We came this far, and Charles will be, like, super pissed if we leave him behind."

"Er, yeah, Nathan's right. Let's just go find him, then we can leave," Pickles agreed.

Murderface groaned, not wanting to spend more time outdoors walking around. Skwisgaar said nothing.

"I think he went that way," Pickles pointed to a set of tracks leading into the forest.

"Let's try it."

Nathan led the way, the others following behind.

00

Toki had run as far as he could - it felt like it had been miles. His lungs burned.

He'd killed his father. Not intentionally, but… He'd killed him. His father's last moments had been of fear and pain while his lungs filled with water and probably burst. The thought made Toki feel sick.

He stumbled towards a bush and began to vomit, tears running down his face as he emptied his stomach.

Soon, nothing came up but bile. Then he began to dry heave.

"Ohs, gods," he cried, wrapping his arms around himself. He stumbled a few steps farther. Up ahead was a clearing.

At first, Toki thought that he was hearing voices in his head. It took a few minutes, but he slowly realized that the voices were real.

They didn't sound like his bandmates. No, whoever it was was speaking Norse, loud and clear, their voice booming almost like Nathan's did.

Toki walked further. The voice was coming from the clearing.

"Hear me, Freyja! Bless these women with -" Toki zoned out after that. Instead, he stared at the blood that had stained the snow. His eyes followed the trails of red up until he came to their source - several dead rabbits hung from a large fir tree, their throats slit. The sight made Toki cry out, and suddenly, the man's speech stopped.

"Who comes here?" He called out.

Toki slowly poked his head out from behind the tree he was standing near.

"Who are you?" The man asked, glaring at him.

Now, Toki could see that the man - who was dressed in some type of white, priest-like ceremonial outfit - was not alone. Several women were with him. They, too, were dressed in similar outfits. Rabbit blood dotted their skin where drops had fallen on them.

"My name is Toki," the guitarist replied softly, speaking his native language. "Why did you kill the rabbits? They are so sweet and cute and harmless!" He had begun to cry again. The women stared at him, an angry look on their faces.

"You must leave here! You have interrupted us, and now we may not be able to -"

"-Why does everything die? Why does everything I care about die?!" Toki continued to wail.

The priest sighed.

"I am trying to secure Freyja's blessing for these women, and you have interrupted us! Please leave!"

"Not until you take down the bunnies! That's not fair! They didn't deserve this!" He walked over to one of the rabbits, untied the knot holding it up by the legs, and let it drop into his hands. Then he dropped to his knees and began digging a hole in the snow. He was frantic, really. Not thinking clearly. All he could think of was the bunnies, and his father, and how everything he loved seemed to wither and die.

The priest was scowling, now.

"We will continue," he said, loudly. "There should be more than enough sacrifices."

The women nodded.

The priest began begging Freyja once again, asking that the women's barren wombs become fruitful, that their lonely lives be filled with the light of a child.

Toki wasn't listening, though. He was busy burying the second bunny, all the while wondering how angry his mother would be when she heard the news of what had happened.

He was so focused on his task that he didn't notice the beam of light pouring through the trees, nor did he notice when it hit him, along with the women. He didn't notice the look of shock on the priest's face, either. All he felt was a sense of warmth in his stomach, but it lasted only a few seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

It took the rest of Dethklok a good hour to find Toki. By then, the priest and women had fled the clearing and Toki had finished burying the rabbits. He'd been sitting with his back against a tree, staring catatonically when they stumbled onto him.

He said nothing as Nathan slung him over his muscular shoulder and carried him back through the woods. Nor did he say anything when Nathan helped him strip out of his snow and blood covered clothes.

When Nathan got him into one of the beds on the Hatredcopter, he glanced up at the man.

"Just get some sleep, Toki," Nathan instructed.

Toki nodded, mumbled a "Thanks yous" and promptly closed his eyes.

00

An hour later, he woke to the worst pain that he'd felt in a while. He groaned and instinctively reached out for his stomach, trying to soothe it.

It felt like a pulled muscle, but worse. He wondered if it was because of the time he'd spent in the cold. Maybe he was getting sick. He deserved it if he was, he thought to himself. He'd killed his own father! He deserved whatever was thrown his way.

With that in mind, he did forced himself to remove his hand and he did his best to keep quiet. If someone heard him, they might tell Charles, and Charles would force him to go to one of the doctors, and Toki didn't want that. Maybe if he was lucky, whatever was hurting him would kill him. Maybe his insides would collapse and he would die a painful death just like his father had.

00

Time went by. Hours. The Hatredcopter was getting close to Mordhaus. Toki was sweating, in the worst pain he'd ever felt in his life. It had only gotten worse, and by then he'd resorted to biting the blanket that had covered him. He'd begun crying once again, but he'd managed to keep it silent.

He would be discovered soon if the pain didn't stop.

And then, just like that, it was over. The pain quickly abated. Strange, and somewhat frustrating - he deserved so much worse than what he'd gotten. At least the timing was good.


	3. Chapter 3

**NOTE: This chapter contains sexual content/dubious consent.**

Toki was set on a path of self destruction.

He began every day by drinking vodka while the others ate breakfast. Within a week, it didn't even burn when it went down. Not his throat, at least. It did do a number on his stomach, and by lunch he often found himself vomiting alcohol, bile and sometimes blood.

His cure was more drinking. Usually beer with shots interspersed.

No one wanted to say anything - it went against their rules, of course. Charles had been the only one to speak up. He'd given Toki a brief speech about how he was worried about the younger man's health after Toki had fallen down the stairs.

Toki didn't listen. Instead, he began adding more to the mix. Pickles had a good stash of drugs, and he didn't mind sharing. They started with weed and worked up to blow. Pickles had to teach Toki how to snort it, and it made Toki's nose bleed, but he enjoyed the rush that came with it. It left him jittery. Usually, he ended up randomly cleaning things around Mordhaus when he was high. It seemed to calm him.

After fifteen or sixteen hours of this, he would crash. Sometimes in his bed, sometimes on the floor of whatever room he happened to be in.

On this particular night, he had ended up with Skwisgaar, in the blonde's bedroom. Skwisgaar had wanted to talk to him about their recent practices - Toki had been fucking up every single song and the older man was getting pissed. It soon became clear, though, that Toki wasn't taking in anything he was saying. The Norwegian was too drunk or high or both.

Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

"Tokis," Skwisgaar said, "Whats you on?"

"Hm?" Toki looked up at Skwisgaar with bloodshot eyes.

"Dudes, you looks like shits."

"Fuck yous," Toki replied. "Yous looks likes shits too."

"Whats you on?" Skwis tried again.

"Wouldn't yous likes to knows!" Toki grinned, then took a swig of vodka.

"Its gots to be mores than vodka."

Toki shrugged and handed the bottle over, not answering his bandmates question.

Skwisgaar rolled his eyes but took a drink. The booze hurt his throat as it went down, but he ignored it. It would take him to where he wanted to go soon enough.

00

Thirty minutes later, Skwisgaar was sufficiently buzzed. He was now in a pretty good mood, and he was no longer angry at Toki.

Toki, however, was beginning to feel sad.

"Whats wrong?" The blonde asked. "Why ams yous sad? Ams your dad?"

Toki's lower lip began to tremble. He reached for the vodka bottle, but found it empty. That was the last straw.

"I miss my dads," he whined.

Skwisgaar sighed.

"I knows, Tokis. But he hurts yous. Yous shoulds remember that."

"Ams my fault."

"He was goings to dies soon anyways," Skwis tried to console him. "Yous made it less painful."

Hearing this, Toki began to cry.

"I killeds him!

Skwisgaar sighed.

"Whats else do yous haves to takes?" He referred to the drugs that Toki was clearly on. "Maybes we should takes some mores?" Doing that would be easier than dealing with Toki's emotions.

Toki reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bag filled with cocaine and a few tiny yellow pills. He picked two of the pills out and handed one to Skwisgaar.

"Pickle said it will makes me happy," Toki explained.

Skwisgaar looked the pill over. It had a tiny sunshine printed on it.

"Ecstasies is good, ja," he agreed. He popped one in his mouth and watched as Toki did the same.

"Whats abouts thats?" He pointed at the blow.

Toki shrugged and began carving out a line. He took one hit, Skwisgaar took two.

00

Another hour passed. Skwisgaar was definitely feeling the effects of the drugs, as was Toki, though in different ways. The lead guitarist felt happy and awake, while Toki was more subdued. He had calmed down and stopped crying at least.

The two had ended up sprawled on Skwisgaar's bed.

"Yous feels betters now?" Skwisgaar asked.

"Hmm," Toki sighed. "I feels goods, I thinks."

"Thats goods."

Toki was laying on his stomach, staring at his hands. He'd removed his shirt and pants some time prior, claiming to be too hot. When he moved to stretch, his body caught Skwisgaar's eye. From the back, Toki looked almost… pretty. Almost like a fit woman, especially with his long brown hair.

"Tokis, maybes you shoulds get laids. Its woulds helps."

"Maybes," Toki responded, stretching yet again. This time he set himself down and spread his legs wide, stretching the tight black boxer briefs he was wearing.

Skwisgaar stared, feeling slightly aroused.

"Tokis, yous…" He trailed off, as Toki turned to look at him, flashing his pretty blue eyes. Even though he had bags under them, Skwisgaar thought that they looked nice.

Maybe it was the drugs. It was probably the drugs. Oh well.

"Whats?" Toki asked.

"Yous really in shapes." Skwisgaar ran a finger down Toki's back, over his butt and onto his leg.

Toki shivered, but grinned.

"Yous likes that?" Skwisgaar questioned.

"Mm, yeahs. It felts goods."

Taking that as his cue, Skwisgaar touched Toki again, this time letting his fingers linger on Toki's rear. Toki groaned in pleasure, his skin becoming goosebumped.

"Wows," Skwisgaar mumbled. Toki was pretty easy game.

Toki turned on his side to face him. It was then that Skwisgaar noticed that the younger man was half hard himself.

"Wows, yous reallys likes that!"

"I dos."

Skwisgaar's mind began to race. This was a bad idea - had to be. It could cause so many problems down the line, but… But it seemed like it would be fun. So much fun. And Toki was enjoying it, he seemed to want more…

Skwisgaar ran a hand through Toki's hair, teasing it as he touched.

"Yous ever beens with a mans, Tokis?"

Toki blushed.

"Once, yeahs. Maybes a few times."

"A fews times?!" Skwisgaar's eyes grew wide. "So...you wouldn't minds, then?"

"It feels so good," Toki replied, looking up at Skwisgaar yet again, giving his best bedroom eyes.

"Fucks, Tokis." Skwisgaar was fully hard. He moved closer to the shorter man, and began kissing his back, making his way to Toki's neck and ears. It felt strange to be doing it - he rarely kissed groupies that he fucked, but for some reason, he felt that he had to kiss Toki.

Toki groaned again and began trying to kiss Skwisgaar back, but the blonde disallowed it, choosing to get on his knees instead.

Slowly, gently, he began removing Toki's underwear. Toki shimmied his legs to help. It was soon tossed to the floor.

"Gets ons all fours," Skwisgaar instructed.

Toki did as he was told.

"Goes slows, please," Toki said, as Skwisgaar put his hands on Toki's sides.

Toki was pleasantly surprised to feel Skwisgaar's fingers and what felt like lube or spit touch his hole. Skwisgaar had apparently been down this road, either with a male or female, and he knew something about preparing his partner.

Toki squeaked as he felt Skwisgaar's fingers stretch him out. It felt good, but a little painful. It had been years since he'd done this.

There were a few more kisses planted on his back before he felt nails scratch his sides. Toki made another high pitched noise.

"Yeahs, yous likes that," Skwisgaar mumbled.

With that, he began inserting his tip.

00

The encounter was slow for the first few seconds, but suddenly, Skwisgaar had picked up speed. He pulled Toki's hair as he pushed in and out and ignored Toki's pleas to slow down, take his time. Such a request would be impossible; Toki's hole was too tight, too warm. He wanted it, now.

It took less than five minutes for Skwisgaar to finish, spilling his seed inside of his younger bandmate. When he did, he pushed Toki away with a grunt, then landed on the bed, breathing heavily. He felt totally drained, mentally and physically.

Toki fell to his side, also out of breath, still hard. Skwisgaar took one look at him and frowned.

"Yous can jerks yourselfs off, yeahs?"

Toki was about to respond that no, Skwisgaar should have that honor, but the blonde had already closed his eyes.

00

The next morning, Toki awoke in Skwisgaar's bed, but the other man was nowhere to be found. He recalled little of the previous night.

His body hurt and his head throbbed. After a few minutes, he began to feel sick.

He pushed himself to a sitting position, only then realizing that his bottom also hurt. A flash of realization came across his mind. He'd slept with Skwisgaar. Well, rather, Skwisgaar had fucked him.

Toki glanced around, hoping that perhaps his bandmate was in the bathroom, and hadn't left him there all by himself on the morning after they'd had sex.

No, Skwisgaar was gone. He had probably left long ago. Toki stifled a groan and got to his feet. He hurried down the hall back to his own room and locked the door.


	4. Chapter 4

The next month was awkward and painful.

Toki had attempted to seek Skwisgaar out, but the blonde had ignored him. At mealtimes, Skwisgaar made it a point to sit as far away as possible. If Toki spoke to him, he was even more terse than usual, giving Toki snippy yes or no answers only.

Practice was especially bad. If Toki made the smallest mistake, Skwisgaar would go off on him, telling him how bad he was and how he seemed to be getting worse with time rather than better, and how it amazed him that such a thing was possible.

Skwisgaar had said these things loudly, and to Toki's dismay, the others had simply grunted in agreement. No one bothered to stand up for him. He was used to that, but for some reason, it hurt more now.

Toki couldn't come up with any explanation for it, besides that perhaps Skwisgaar was trying to put as much distance between them as possible. As if he wanted Toki to know that sleeping with him had been a massive, embarrassing mistake, and that in no way were they in any type of relationship. Not that Toki had mentioned it, but he wondered of Skwisgaar feared that he might.

In the end he decided to stay away. He holed up in his room, making model airplanes and reading comics. He emerged for practice and at mealtimes only, and even the latter was only occasional. Toki had begun making a habit of eating in his room. It was easier to be alone, rather than having to be near Skwisgaar.

00

Besides the emotional turmoil, Toki had another problem: for several days, he'd felt incredibly sick.

It tended to start in the mornings, right when Toki first woke up. At first he thought that he was experiencing hangovers, but he found that he was sick even when didn't drink - something that was pretty difficult. Drinking had become more of a habit than Toki wanted to admit, and when he stopped, he often felt shaky.

He wondered if it was some type of stomach virus, then. Maybe one of the Klokateers had brought a germ to Mordhaus, and he'd picked it up.

But, it only seemed to last for an hour after he woke up. He would get out of bed, proceed to vomit up everything in his system, then he would be fine on that front, unless he smelled something that set him off. He'd recently developed numerous food issues - the scent of certain things brought the sickness back. Toki had often found himself smelling eggs or breakfast meats and running to the nearest restroom.

The dizziness had him most concerned though. And the fact that he seemed to feel totally drained, even after getting enough sleep.

It was miserable, really. He felt pissy and frustrated and tired. This caused him to feel angry at the smallest, most miniscule things.

After two months, the rest of the band began to notice it. Nathan had called him out for throwing down his guitar after Skwisgaar had insulted him. It had shocked the singer - he never would've imagined Toki doing that to instrument, but Toki hadn't been able to hold back. And Pickles was constantly staring at him, as if he were studying him. A few times the drummer had made it a point to ask him how things were going, which was Pickles' way of showing concern.

Things got even worse when the others noticed him vomiting one morning. He hadn't been able to make it to the bathroom, so he'd puked in the sink. There were some comments about it being pretty gross, and how he should be careful not to spread his disease to everyone else. Ultimately, Charles pulled Toki aside.


	5. Chapter 5

"I know you don't like doctors, Toki, but you're going to keep getting worse. An exam wouldn't take too long."

Toki was sitting in front of Charles' desk, arms crossed over his chest. He glared at the manager.

"I hates doctors," Toki replied. "But...I feels like shits."

"Right, well, a doctor can give you some medicine to help."

"Maybes I can waits a little longer?" Toki asked. He was almost pleading.

"Toki, you've broken two of your guitars and have alienated most of your bandmates. They're probably going to consider kicking you out if you don't do something."

Toki's eyes grew wide. He hadn't considered that.

"They wouldn't dos that," he said, softly. "Right?"

"Yes, they would. Nathan and Pickles are very concerned, actually. They've come to me several times about your behavior."

Toki's shoulders slumped.

"I, ah, can go with you if you want," Charles offered.

"Yes, please," Toki replied meekly. "I woulds likes that."

00

For once, the doctor that Dethklok kept on staff was truly stunned. He'd initially assumed that Toki had a stomach virus that had possibly gotten out of hand and affected other systems. Yet, the symptoms didn't really add up. In the end he'd taken some blood and other bodily fluids to test and he'd performed a body scan. It was during this that the truth was revealed.

"Somehow," the doctor began, "you've grown a uterus. Your old scans don't show anything like that, so something obviously happened recently."

"A uterus? Thats likes a vaginas?" Toki asked.

"It's a female sexual organ where babies develop," the doctor answered, for once feeling patient. The news that Toki was expecting a child was sure to shock the guitarist, and the doctor didn't want to be responsible for Toki doing something rash and accidently hurting the baby.

"But, I'ms not a goils," Toki replied.

"Right. That's just it, I have no idea how this happened. Do you know what might explain this?"

Toki looked at Charles, who rested a hand on Toki's knee.

"Can you think of anything, Toki? Anything strange that happened?"

"Wells… dere was the rabbits."

"The rabbits?" Charles questioned.

"Ja, the dead rabbits. I burieds thems. It was very sads." Toki looked as if he were about to cry.

Over the next few minutes, Charles and the doctor managed to get Toki to tell the story of what had happened in the woods in Norway.

"That's it," Charles said. "That's what must've happened. Toki interrupted the ritual and Freyja, er, blessed him too."

"Withs a uteruses?" Toki was genuinely confused.

"With more than that," the doctor responded. "You're also pregnant."

W-w-withs a babies?!" Toki's hands began to shake.

"Yes. You've got a eight week old fetus inside of you. I've got a scan of it here," the doctor handed him a piece of paper with a picture printed on it.

Toki looked at the photo, nodded, then promptly passed out.

00

When Toki awoke, he was in his own bed, deddy bear in arm. Someone had removed his shoes and tucked him in. He cracked open his eyes and saw that Charles was sitting beside him, flipping through some paperwork.

"You're awake," Charles noted.

"Ja." Toki pushed a strand of hair out of his eyes, "Whats happeneds?"

"You don't remember?"

"I...The doctors saids I hads a babies?"

"Yes. You're two months pregnant. Do you have any idea of who the, ah, other father is?"

"Ja," Toki said, dejectedly. "But he won'ts wants anythings to dos with its."

"I take it that it's one of your bandmates?"

"Yous won'ts tells?" Toki asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"Well, I think you should tell them, but for now I'll keep my mouth shut."

"Its ams Skwisgaar."

"I see."

Toki rested a hand on his still-flat stomach. It was hard to imagine that there was another life growing within him.

"You have some time to decide if you want to keep it or not. If you do, you'll have to make some changes."

Toki looked at him.

"Ja?"

"For one, you'll have to stop drinking and taking drugs."

"Ja…"

"You'll have to get more rest, eat more and get regular checkups."

"Ja." Toki held his bear a little closer.

Charles moved to leave.

"For now, try to sleep. I'll tell the others that you're not feeling well."

"Thanks," Toki said, lying back down. Once the door closed, he turned on his side to face the wall. He had a lot to think about.


	6. Chapter 6

Toki wanted to keep the baby. He'd known it immediately. Though he had tossed around the idea of getting rid of it, he knew that he couldn't. Even if Skwisgaar didn't want to help, the child was Toki's, and Toki would care for it. He liked babies, anyway. They were cute. And the baby would love him, too.

He decided that he would tell Charles the next day.

00

Charles looked Toki over. He was resting his hand on his stomach again. Charles wondered if he had made a conscious decision to do it, or if it was instinct.

He wasn't particularly surprised about Toki's decision, but he did feel a responsibility to inform Toki of the risks involved.

"You'll have to pull out of the summer tour," he said. "By then you'll be in your third trimester."

Toki nodded. He had assumed as much.

"And eventually you'll have to tell the band. Whether you want to tell Skwisgaar is up to you, but I suggest you do, so it's out of the way. If there are any repercussions from it, you can deal with them upfront rather than further along in your pregnancy."

Toki tried to pay attention to what Charles was saying, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. He was feeling sick again - shaky and nauseous. Whether it was related to the pregnancy or the fact that he hadn't had any alcohol in nearly twenty four hours, he wasn't sure.

"Toki?" Charles asked, noticing that the younger man had paled. "Are you -"

Toki cut him off by diving for the garbage can near his desk. Within seconds, he was hunched over it, vomiting up what little was in his system.

Charles sighed, and rested a hand on Toki's back.

"There, there," he forced out.

Toki groaned when he was finally done. He was sweating and still shaking. Charles frowned, got on his knees and gently helped Toki lean back against the bottom of his desk.

"I don'ts feels good," Toki said, looking as if he were about to tear up again.

"I know. It'll be okay," Charles told him. "I'll get you some water."

Toki nodded and watched as Charles walked off. He returned shortly and handed Toki the glass. Toki slowly took a sip.

"Charles," he said, putting the glass down. "I'm scared."

"I know," Charles reiterated.

After a short silence, Charles spoke again.

"Why don't we take one thing at a time. First, let's see if the doctor can give you something to help with what you're going through."

"Okays," Toki agreed.

"After that we'll see about finding a specialist to help as the pregnancy progresses."

00

Dethklok's doctor had set Toki up with some fast-acting benzos to help with the alcohol withdrawal. After giving Toki his first dose, Charles had sent him back off to bed to rest. He hoped that there wouldn't be any interruptions. He needed some time to find the right person to help Toki.


	7. Chapter 7

Nathan knew that something was up with Toki. Though it went against the band's rules regarding caring about other member's personal lives, he couldn't help but feel concerned. Toki was like a little brother to him.

Whatever it was, Skwisgaar had something to do with it. He'd been really treating Toki like crap lately, giving him a hard time during practice and even during their free time. Normally, Toki let it roll of his back, but lately he seemed to be hurt by Skwisgaar's remarks. And, there was the fact that he'd isolated himself from everyone else, not to mention his mysterious sickness.

It had been a month since Toki had rushed to the kitchen sink and vomited up what little was in his stomach, and in that time, Nathan had seen him turn green at least once a week. Most of the time, he was able to play it off as taking a bathroom break, but there were two instances where he'd gotten sick in front of everyone else.

Sighing, Nathan decided to talk to Toki about it one-on-one, as soon as the timing seemed right.

00

All of that thinking about Toki had made Nathan's head hurt. There was nothing else on the agenda that day, so he made his way out to the hot tub, intent on relaxing. He had just approached it when he noticed Toki sitting outside of it, cup of what appeared to be tea in hand. He was talking to Pickles, who was taking a soak.

"Pickles. Toki," Nathan greeted them.

He slid into the hot tub and leaned back.

"Hey, Toki, you wanna come in? Might help ya calm down," he suggested.

"I told him the same thing," Pickles said, "But he won't go."

"I'ms okays," Toki replied, "Maybe I goes in laters."

Nathan raised an eyebrow, but considered that this was one of Toki's ways of keeping to himself.

"So… You got tea there?" Nathan tried to make conversation.

"Ja, herbal tea."

"That's… nice."

"Yeah, ever since Toki gave up drinkin' he's been doin' that herbal stuff," Pickles noted. "Good fer you, Toki."

The remark seemed sincere, and Toki half smiled.

"Hmm," Nathan hummed to himself. He'd noticed that Toki had cut down on the booze and drugs, too. While that was good, he wondered why Toki had had such a sudden change of heart.

00

The chance to talk to Toki came up sooner rather than later. Toki had stormed off to his room after Skwisgaar insulted him. Nathan waited a few hours until the coast was clear for him to visit.

"Toki?" He called out, knocking on his door. "You in there? It's Nathan."

"Come ins," Toki called out.

Nathan opened the door, walked in and closed the door behind him. He absolutely did not want anyone else walking by and hearing their discussion.

He frowned when he saw Toki - the younger man was curled up on his bed, facing the wall. He held his deddy bear to his chest.

"I know, uh, this goes against, uh, our rules, but, uh… Well… I'll just say it, I care about you and I'm worried about you. You don't talk much at all, and you keep getting sick even though you stopped drinking…"

Toki curled into himself a little bit more. He refused to meet Nathan's gaze.

"If I tells you, can you keeps it secrets?"

"Uh, sure. Yeah."

"I'm pregnants."

Nathan stared at him for a second, then burst out laughing. Toki sighed angrily.

"What? That's a good joke- why are you so mad?" Nathan chuckled. "Pregnant. Right. Really though, what's wrong?"

"I'm not jokings!" Toki yelled, sitting up. "I knew you wouldn'ts believes me!"

Toki looked both angry, and as if he wanted to cry.

Nathan stopped laughing.

"Come on, Toki. Guys can't get pregnant. I know you were kinda sheltered a child and all, but you at least have to know that."

"I ams pregnant! Here!" He reached under his pillow and pulled out his latest ultrasound photo.

Nathan took it and looked it over. He was silent for quite a while.

"You… You're serious?"

"Ja! I haves to sees a doctors and everythings."

"...Wow." He handed the photo back. "I need to sit down."

Toki made room for Nathan on the bed.

"This is why you've been all weird lately?"

"The doctors says I can'ts go in the hot water. Hads to stops drinking too. Ands drugs."

"Wow. When's it due? Do you gotta… ya know… push it out of your butthole or something?"

Toki looked at him as if he'd been insulted.

"No I dos not! The doctors will cuts me open and takes the babies out."

"There's more than one?!"

"Just one."

"Oh. Okay, that's better than pushing it out your butt."

Toki rolled his eyes.

"The babies will comes in six months."

"Huh." Nathan pondered this. He wondered if Toki would leave the band once the baby was born, of if he would stay, or if he would even keep the kid or give it up for adoption.

Then another question came to him: Who was the other parent? He asked Toki about it, and when he did, Toki's eyes teared up.

"I donts wants to tells you," he finally admitted. "But ams someones you knows."

"Skwisgaar, right?"

Toki's eyes widened.

"Hows you knows?!"

"'Cause he's been being a total dick to you. I figured something happened. I guess he's not taking it well?"

"He doesn't knows." Toki clutched deddy bear to his chest again.

"He's gonna figure it out eventually."

"No he won'ts," Toki argued. "I won'ts tells him."

"He's gonna figure out that you're pregnant, at least. You're gonna, you know. It's gonna show."

"I knows. I figures it outs."

"Alright," Nathan said, getting up. "Well, if you need anything… Ask for it in secret. The others will think it's gay if I care about you."

Toki knew what Nathan meant. He cared, and that made Toki feel good.


	8. Chapter 8

Toki was not having a good day.

He'd gone to see the doctor that Charles had found - Dr. Carlson - and he'd been forced to have a full exam. During it, the doctor had berated him for letting his blood sugar go slightly up. He'd craved sugar earlier and had eaten a few cookies, but he'd taken his insulin to balance it out. Apparently, that was not okay with Dr. Carlson.

He'd been having a lot of weird cravings recently. At the start of his fourth month, the nausea had given way to them. It was frustrating if only because he couldn't eat half of the things he wanted. Instead, he compensated by eating other things, which in turn had caused his six-pack to almost completely disappear. He was getting big, and it bothered him.

They'd had practice and Skwisgaar had again ripped into him for messing something up, even though Toki thought that he had played his part perfectly. Combined with the hot flashes he was getting, it took all of Toki's strength not to scream.

Nathan had noticed how agitated Toki seemed and had mercifully called off practice early, using the excuse that he himself didn't feel good. Toki appreciated it. Lately, Nathan seemed to be his only advocate. The singer frequently separated Skwisgaar and Toki when things got too heated, and he was making an effort to ensure that Toki wasn't pushed too hard.

So, Toki had retreated to his bedroom, intent on taking a shower and having a nap. He was still frequently tired. Being around Skwisgaar just made it worse.

00

Toki stepped out of the shower feeling refreshed. The hot water had relaxed his muscles and wiped away the budding headache that he'd felt. He walked into his bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, planning to get into bed shortly. He was surprised when he heard someone's voice right outside.

Actually, it was two voices - Murderface's and Pickles'. They were arguing over something, but Toki couldn't make out what.

Figuring that they would wander off, he didn't think much of it. Then, his door flew open.

"TOKI! Tell Pickles that toucans are totally not metal!" Murderface yelled.

Toki jumped back a step, stunned that his two bandmates had so randomly entered.

"No way, they're awesome! Did you know that they eat the eggs of other birds? That's like, eating unborn children - holy shit." Pickles stopped, staring at Toki.

Murderface was silent, too.

"What?" Toki asked, annoyed. He quickly moved to put a shirt on.

"You got fat," Murderface finally said, before laughing. "Ha! I'm not the fat one anymore!"

"Aw, come on, that's mean," Pickles responded. "He stopped doing drugs and all. That totally messes with your metabolism."

Toki could feel his face getting red. This was embarrassing. And annoying, too.

"Ja, okays, I'ms fat. Can yous leaves now?"

Pickles reached for Murderface's arm in an attempt to shepherd him out of the room, but it was to no avail.

"No way! I gotta get a picture of him!" Murderface protested, reaching for his dethphone. He raised it and snapped a photo. "You're not the cute one anymore!" Murderface taunted.

"Come on, Murderface, stop being rude," Pickles continued to try to pull him away.

"Aww, but this stuff never happens!" Murderface whined.

"Let's go."

Murderface's shoulders slumped, but he followed Pickles out. As soon as they were gone, Toki locked the door.

Frowning, he put on a pair of boxer shorts then laid down on his bed.

00

Of course, dinner that night was a fiasco. Murderface had posted the photo he'd taken to a social networking site and Skwisgaar had seen it. He immediately made a comment about how Toki's fat fingers must be the cause of his recent mistakes.

Toki did his best to ignore the jeers and comments. Nathan, however, wasn't having it.

"You're being a real dick," he said to Skwisgaar. "So are you, Murderface."

"I'm just enjoying the fact that for once, I'm not the ugly one," Murderface replied.

"He may be fat but you're still ugly," Pickles joked, though he was half serious.

"Hopefully it won'ts gets any worse, or we'll needs a new guitarist," Skwisgaar stated.

Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose. He was getting frustrated.

"Let's me sees your fat hands," Skwisgaar said, trying to grab at Toki's arm. Pissed, Toki smacked him away.

Then the (almost) unthinkable happened. Skwisgaar retaliated by punching Toki in the face. Toki was caught off guard and nearly fell out of his chair.

"Heys!" He protested. Toki's nose began to bleed, but he ignored it and stood up, intent on fighting Skwisgaar.

But by then, Nathan had had enough.

"What the fuck?! You can't just punch a pregnant… Person," he yelled at the blonde.

"What?" Skwisgaar backed off. "What's he means? This ams a joke?"

Toki sighed loudly. He hadn't planned on telling Skwisgaar… well… ever.

"It's no joke! He's got an ultrasound and everything. Show him, Toki!"

Toki scowled, but pulled out the photo he had on him. He carried a copy everywhere to remind him of why he was suffering.

"Heres." He shoved the photo into Skwisgaar's hands.

Skwisgaar looked at the picture for a moment, then looked at Toki, then back at the photo, then back at Toki.

"Yous ams gonna bes a moms!" He laughed. "A single moms!"

"Shuts up," Toki growled, taking the photo back.

"Yous has a vaginas?" Skwisgaar was still laughing. "Like ams goils?"

"Skwisgaar! That's no way to talk to the...err.. father? Of your child!"

"What's did you says?"

"I said that's no way to talk to the father of your child! Stop being a douche!"

If Toki could have curled up and died right then, he would have.

"It ams mines?" Skwisgaar asked, eyes growing wide.

Toki nodded "yes", but kept his gaze focused elsewhere.

"Wow," was the last thing Skwisgaar said before he passed out.


	9. Chapter 9

Skwisgaar was not new to fatherhood in the sense that he had hundreds, if not thousands of children living all throughout the world.

He was new to it in the sense that he'd never stepped up to care for any of those children.

He'd never considered himself parent material. He knew that he was too self-centered to do a decent job raising anyone, so he'd made it a point not to get involved.

With Toki, though, things were different. Skwisgaar would be forced into daily contact with his child, and his child's father.

The thought was terrifying.

For several days, he couldn't eat, nor sleep. He didn't even have a sex drive. Most of the time, he found himself sitting in a corner, playing his guitar, trying to think things through.

It came down to two choices: He could try to be there for Toki and their child, or he could ignore the other guitarist completely and hope that he might leave the band.

In the end, he decided to do the right thing, or at least what he felt was the right thing. Toki wasn't that bad, after all. He could be slightly frustrating, but he would probably be a decent lover. And really, if he did try to ignore Toki, Nathan would probably call him out on it and make his life difficult. Staying in Dethklok wouldn't be an option, then.

With his stomach doing backflips, Skwisgaar made his way to Toki's room, intent on discussing the subject.

00

Skwisgaar found Toki lying on his bed, shirt pulled up, with headphones pressed against his stomach.

"Toki?" He asked, peeking into the room.

Toki glanced over at the door.

"Skwisgaar."

"I, um, cames to apologize. But if ams a bad times, I'll leaves."

Toki couldn't help but smile. Rarely, if ever, was Skwisgaar nervous, and right then he looked as if he were about to faint again. Knowing that the blonde would likely be in a somewhat nice mood, Toki let him in.

"Its okay. You can comes in."

Skwisgaar nodded and crept inside, closing the door behind him.

"So… Yous giving the babies music?"

"It calms it down. It ams kicking up a storm!"

Skwisgaar stared.

"Yous can feels it?"

"Ja. You wants to feel?" Toki removed the headphones.

Skwisgaar slowly inched towards the bed, his heart racing. He wasn't sure if he actually wanted to touch Toki or not. Something about the whole thing was disgusting, but at the same time, it was also fascinating.

"Don't be scared," Toki told him. "It ams not so bads."

Skwisgaar swallowed nervously, but managed to get to the bed. He sat down next to Toki.

"Heres." Toki took Skwisgaar's hand and placed it on his stomach.

Almost instantly, Skwisgaar felt something thump against his hand. He quickly pulled it away, terrified.

"Yous silly," Toki commented.

"It ams weird!"

"Ja well I have to feels it all days!"

"Ja…"

Toki 'hmphed' and returned their headphones to their previous place.

Skwisgaar sighed.

"Look, I'ms sorry, Toki. I'm, uh, not used to dis types of things. I'ms sorry for making funs of you, too."

Skwisgaar was blushing, and couldn't meet Toki's eyes. Toki couldn't help but notice it.

"You means it?" Toki's eyes were bright, and he was staring at the other man.

"Ja. I cames here to tries to make ups, and tells you that I'll bes here for yous and the babies."

Toki was silent for a moment, taking in what Skwisgaar had just said.

"You means… like a friends?"

"Or, uh, a boyfriends, I guess?"

"But you likes goils." Toki was staring at Skwisgaar.

"Ja, but, I ams also… you knows… attracted to yous too." Skwisgaar forced the last part out. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about Toki, but he held onto the hope that he could again become attracted like he had the night that they'd had sex.

"I means, I wouldn'ts have slepts with yous if I wasn't."

Toki let out a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"You hates me, Skwisgaar. Why you does this now?"

"Because it ams the rights things to do?" Skwisgaar replied. "You needs helps, or you wills soon. We're stuck togethers in Dethklok and I ams going to have to see the babies every day, so we should be togethers."

Despite his words, Skwisgaar felt like he wanted to vomit. This was almost as horrifying as getting married. He'd not been committed to anyone… well… ever. He wondered if Toki would be okay with him having some side action, just to help maintain his sanity.

'Do the rights thing,' he reminded himself.

Toki contemplated all that Skwisgaar had said.

"If I says yes, you has to be nicer to me."

"Ja, of course. I won't makes fun of you anymore."

"Maybes… Maybes we tries. For the babies," Toki conceded. "So the babies has its daddies."

"Ja. Okays."

Toki smiled at him.

There was another moment of silence before Skwisgaar felt the urge to run. He couldn't do that, though. Not so soon. He had to think of another way…

"Do you wants anything?" He asked.

"Do I? Can you gets the key limes pie?"

"Yous diabetics, Tokis," Skwisgaar reminded him.

"Eh, I takes the insulin. The babies wants the pies."

Skwisgaar fought back rolling his eyes.

"Ja, okays. Whatevers you says." He stood up and headed for the door.

Once outside, Skwisgaar stopped to force himself to breathe normally. His heart continued to pound in his chest, and he felt as if he might have a panic attack.

'It ams okays,' he told himself. 'It ams okays.'


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** **Inspired by the graphic head trips that Metalocalypse often shows (like when that kid died and Toki imagined maggots on her rotting face). Also, I searched "embarrassing pregnancy stories" and this is a combination of the worst of them.**

 _Skwisgaar watched in horror as Toki, who'd been sleeping oh-so-peacefully, quickly sat up and projectile vomited, some of it hitting the floor near Skwisgaar's feet._

 _"What the fucks…" Skwisgaar took a step back, tripping over the trash bin that they kept near the bed for such emergencies, and falling onto his butt. The plate of tuna fish and ice cream that he'd been carrying fell from his hands and hit the ground, spraying bits of fish and dairy onto his pants._

 _"Skwisgaar, help me…" Toki called out, before vomiting again. This time it hit Skwisgaar directly._

 _Skwisgaar looked up and was stunned to see that Toki's nose was bleeding heavily. His hair was splayed in all directions, there were massive bags under his eyes, and vomit was dripping from his mouth onto his chest, falling onto his stomach, which was huge and covered in red stretch marks. To top it off, it looked as if he had urinated on the bed._

 _"My gods," Skwisgaar murmured, and instinctively crawled back some more. "My gods, what is wrongs with yous?!"_

"Skwisgaar."

Someone was shaking him.

"Skwisgaar, you okay?"

It was Pickles.

"Huh?" Skwisgaar glanced up. The redhead was standing over him, waving a hand in front of his eyes.

"You, uh, kinda sat down and zoned out during the middle of a song and we couldn't get your attention," the drummer explained.

"Ja," Skwisgaar answered, looking around, happy to see that he really was in the practice area. "Just hads a bads thoughts is alls."

00

Okay, maybe Skwisgaar had exaggerated Toki's pregnancy issues. Yes, he still sometimes got sick at random times, and Skwisgaar usually had to be the one to call someone to clean it up. And once he had pissed the bed, something he'd explained was because the baby was pressing on his bladder. Sometimes his nose bled. But, the stretch marks really weren't that noticeable and he hadn't asked for weird food in weeks.

"It ams okays," Skwisgaar reminded himself. That had become his mantra over the past two months. He spoke it aloud to himself whenever Toki did something horrifying or disgusting.

The bright side was that Skwisgaar's sex drive towards Toki had diminished completely. Even he had his limits, and being with someone who might vomit or pee on him at any point wasn't a turn on.

This was good for Toki, who seemed to abhor the idea of sex with him. The first and only time that Skwisgaar had asked, Toki had literally shoved him off of the bed and cursed him out because he was "not in the mood" and felt that Skwisgaar should have picked up on it from the get-go.

In turn, this was good for Skiwsgaar, because he wasn't getting beaten up.

In fact, Skwisgaar hadn't had sex at all during the two months that he'd been with Toki. He considered it an accomplishment, probably among his top two accomplishments in life. The first was becoming the world's fastest guitar player. He, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, had given up sex for two months for someone else's sake.

So what if he was miserable? This was the right thing to do. Their child needed a father, and Toki needed him. He would just have to push through it and hope that once the baby was born, Toki would be both less awful and more willing to enjoy intimacy.

00

"Hey, Toki," Nathan said, walking into Toki's room.

Toki usually stayed with Skwisgaar on account of Skwisgaar's room being larger, but he occasionally came back to his own room to partake in hobbies. Currently, he was in the middle of assembling a crib.

"Hey Nathan," Toki greeted him.

"Hey you know we've got guys that'll, you know, do that for you."

Toki turned and smiled at him.

"I likes doing its. It ams relaxing."

"Oh. Right." Nathan stood by for a moment, watching as Toki worked. He supposed he shouldn't be that surprised - Toki did love making model airplanes and such. He wasn't there to discuss that, though.

"So, uh, I just came to talk to you. I was wondering if Skwisgaar is okay? I mean I know, I know that we told you you don't have to come to practice anymore, unless you want to, but lately he's been kinda…He keeps zoning out and getting this terrified look on his face. His eyes get all big and his jaw drops and it- it's just weird."

Toki shrugged, "He seems okays to me?"

"Right. Okay."

"If you ams concerned maybes you should asks him?"

"We did, and he keeps saying he's okay. I figured since you're, ya know, together, you might know more."

Toki had turned his attention back to the crib.

"Maybe he's tired," Toki suggested. "Sometimes I keeps him up, 'cause I talks to the babies at night."

"Right. Okay."

There was a short silence before Nathan spoke again.

"So, how is the baby? Do you know what you're having?"

Toki grinned.

"I knows, but it's a secrets. Skwisgaar doesn't wants to knows."

"Aw, come on, you can tell me!"

"You tolds him it was his babies when I asked you not to!" Toki replied, sounding somewhat annoyed.

"Yeah but that was in the heat of the moment! I doubt anything like that will happen again."

Toki smiled again, thinking of his child.

"Ja, okays." It wasn't so much that Skwisgaar didn't want to know, but more of that he just didn't seem to care anyway. "It ams a goil."

"Wow," Nathan replied. "She's gonna be the most metal girl ever!"

Toki smiled wider.

"Ja, she ams goings to be totally brutals!"

Nathan patted Toki on the shoulder.

"Well, good for you. Congratulations."

"Thanks."

"I'm gonna go now. Have fun, uh, building that."

"I wills!" Toki answered.

00

Toki had been attracted to Skwisgaar since he'd first met him. The man was both gorgeous and insanely talented. He'd never imagined that they would be together, though. Nor that Skwisgaar would ever treat him so kindly.

He knew that he could be a handful. The pregnancy had sapped him of energy most days, and made him moody, not to mention all of the physical changes he'd gone through. He'd given up on wearing anything more than black yoga pants, baggy Dethklok t-shirts that he'd gotten from their merch hoard, and flip flops. His feet and ankles felt far too swollen for boots.

Still, he felt uncomfortable being as large as he was, and he was sure that Skwisgaar wasn't attracted to him as he was. Yet, Skwisgaar had been there with him every night and every morning, and he always bought Toki whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Skwisgaar had even attended doctor's appointments with him.

So, when the rest of the band had wanted a night out, Toki felt that Skwisgaar more than deserved to join them. He himself was too tired, and didn't particularly want to be seen by fans looking as he did, so he stayed at Mordhaus.

Before the others left, Toki had given Skwisgaar a hug and had told him to have fun. He truly meant it - he hoped that Skwisgaar did enjoy himself.

Skwisgaar had smiled and told him that he'd be back soon, and then they'd been off.

00

The band had left at ten. Toki had crawled into bed right after.

At midnight, he woke up, having to pee. The others weren't back yet, but he wasn't surprised. He quickly fell back asleep.

At three thirty, he woke again for the same reason.

Still, the guys had not yet returned.

Toki wasn't overly surprised, but he did feel a small pang of worry. While he knew that they were probably at some bar, he had grown used to having Skwisgaar next to him at night.

Sighing, he went back to bed. He tried to sleep, but couldn't.

At four thirty, he called Skwisgaar's phone. It rang several times before going to voicemail

At five, he tried again.

At six, he began to truly worry.

00

The rest of the band returned home around seven am. They'd partied all night and into the morning, and everyone was exhausted.

Toki was relieved when Skwisgaar finally entered the bedroom.

"Skwis! Did you have fun?" Toki greeted him.

Skwisgaar was both tired and still drunk.

"Hm? Oh, ja," he answered, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. He began to remove his boots, intent on getting some rest.

"I called yous," Toki told him. "I mean, I'm not mads, but I was worrieds."

Skwisgaar dropped his boot on the ground and turned to face Toki.

"Ja, well, everything's okays."

Toki nodded and watched as Skwisgaar removed his pants, then his shirt. Just as the blonde laid down, Toki noticed it.

"Skwisgaar!"

Toki's tone and the volume of his voice woke Skwisgaar up somewhat.

"Wha-?"

"What ams this?!" He poked the older man hard in the chest.

"Huh?" Skwisgaar looked down at the giant red hickey that Toki was pointing to. It was one of several that lined his chest and back.

"Oh, fucks," he replied.


	11. Chapter 11

"Get outs!" Toki yelled, before shoving Skwisgaar off the bed.

"It ams my rooms!" Skwisgaar protested.

Toki got out of bed as quickly as possible and gathered Deddy Bear in his arms.

"Yous a nasty, gross man whores!" He said, glaring at Skwisgaar. "How many ladies you slepts withs?"

Skwsigaar sighed.

"Tokis, I… Ja, okay, I slepts withs one ladies. Maybe two." There was no use in denying it - the evidence was plain as day. "I'm sorries, it's just, yous makes it hard on me!"

"How I makes it hard on you? You're not the one carrying a bowling ball insides you! A bowling ball that has arms and legs and kicks your bladders and makes you throws up all times and makes you fat and uglies!"

"Uh…" Skwisgaar wasn't sure what to say.

"'Uh' what?" Toki hissed. "You has no excuse!"

That statement enraged Skwisgaar.

"Yous never lets me fuck yous, Toki! And yous always asking for things! Yous always sick and you wears ugly clothes and yous has stretch marks and yous always angry at things! I has not had sex in overs two months because of yous!"

"Ja well yous took that on when you asked me outs!" Toki shouted back. "And what do yous expects me to wears? A corsets? Hm?"

Skwisgaar rolled his eyes.

"Yous nuts, Tokis. I can't takes it anymores."

"Me either," Toki replied. He placed a hand on his stomach, "Nor can the babies. You stays aways from me!" He stomped, or, rather, waddled, towards the door.

00

Toki was fuming. By the time he had gotten back to his room, his heart was racing. On top of it, he felt a stabbing pain in his stomach. It was nearly agonizing, and he crumpled on his bed in a vain attempt to make it stop.

A few minutes passed. Then an hour. The pain remained.

Toki was nearly crying, now. Something was wrong. He was sure of it.

00

Nathan was in the middle of writing some lyrics when his dethphone rang. It glanced at it. Toki was calling.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Nathan...I needs helps," Toki gasped out.

"Uh... "

"Something ams wrong with the babies…"

"Uh… okay…"

"I needs to go see the doctors…"

"Right. Okay." Nathan stood up, "I'll go, uh, find someone to help you. You're in your room?"

"Ja…" Toki was panting.

"Okay, just try to breathe normal. I'll get help real fast," Nathan said, before hanging up.

00

Thankfully, Charles happened to be nearby when Nathan took his call. He'd overheard everything, and was able to get Toki to the doctor's office quickly.

Once he arrived, he was quickly transferred to a hospital bed. Dr. Carlson was summoned.

"Okay, Toki, you need to calm down," the doctor told him. "You're having a panic attack. I'm going to examine you and see what's going on."

"My babies is probablys dead! How cans I calms down?!" Toki shouted. He was outright hysterical.

Pickles, Nathan and Charles stood by his bedside. Charles reached out and rested a hand on Toki's shoulder.

"Toki, you're making things worse. Doctor Carlson is very qualified. I'm sure he'll find out exactly what's going on and he'll help you. You need to take a deep breath."

"Yous has no ideas what yous talking about!" Toki replied, "No ideas at alls!"

Charles sighed and looked at the doctor, who was quietly preparing a syringe.

"Annd here we go," the doctor said, taking hold of Toki's arm. He injected Toki with a clear liquid, and within seconds, the guitarist fell back. His eyes were still open, but barely.

"Whats… you… gives… me?" He asked, his breathing slowing.

"Something to calm you down," the doctor replied. "Now I can look you over."

"O...kays…" Toki answered.

"Wow, that shit's awesome," Nathan commented. "Can we have some? We can give it to Murderface whenever he gets annoying."

"Yeah, can we?" Pickles seconded.

"Prescription drugs are not toys," the doctor scolded them. "So no, you can't have them."

Nathan rolled his eyes but dropped the subject.

"Hey, shouldn't Skwisgaar be here? I can call him."

"N..no," Toki replied, softly. "Keep him aways…"

It seemed as if even speaking as a struggle.

"Uh, okay."

The doctor cleared his throat, effectively interrupting the conversation.

"I need to examine Toki now."

Nathan nodded and backed away, as did the others.

00

It turned out that Toki was having false contractions, known as Braxton-Hicks contractions. The baby was fine. Toki was told to rest for the remainder of the day.

He was relieved that all was well, but still upset over what happened with Skwisgaar.

He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking everything over.

Skwisgaar was a man-whore, that much he knew going into the relationship. He supposed that it was dumb of him to think that the blonde would change his ways. Maybe he was just overly hopeful.

Skwisgaar had promised to be good to him, though, and Toki had truly started planning a future for them. They'd raise the child together and do their best to be good parents. She would be the most awesome, most metal little girl ever, and they'd be a happy family. He'd had fantasies of he and Skwisgaar teaching her the guitar when she got older, and taking her to the park and to the zoo and to do all the fun things that kids enjoyed.

Now, those dreams were shattered. He'd have to raise his daughter alone. Should he even tell her who her father was? Skwisgaar could well hurt her, too. Abandon her to go have fun with groupies or to go party.

Toki bit his lip and tried not to cry.


	12. Chapter 12

Toki didn't even try to act cordially to Skwisgaar. If anything, he seemed to be going out of his way to torment the man. During practice, he'd gone so far as to mess with Skwisgaar's amp. He hid the blonde's extra guitar strings, and had "accidently deleted" a recording that he'd made.

Skwisgaar was doing his best to deal with it. He held his tongue when Toki taunted him or yelled at him, and quietly undid any changes to his set up that Toki had made. When he heard about the recording, he simply took a deep breath, pinched the bridge of his nose, and stated that he would re-record the part, and that it wasn't a big deal anyway because it was just an idea he'd had.

This made Toki more angry. He wanted Skwisgaar to get upset at him, to yell at him. He felt hurt and that made him mad, which made him want to fight.

The rest of the band had noticed what he was doing, as it affected them too. If Skwisgaar's equipment didn't work, it took time out of their practice for him to fix it. The same if one of his strings broke and there were no replacements to be found.

Nathan finally had it when he caught Toki trying to flick food at Skwisgaar while the band ate dinner.

"Toki, what the fuck are you doing?!" Nathan asked, nearly yelling.

Right then, the spoonful of casserole that Toki had launched hit Skwisgaar's cheek. The blonde's eye twitched. Toki thought that Skwisgaar might finally break, but instead he picked up a napkin with shaking hands and wiped the food away.

Toki scowled and began preparing another spoonful of food to throw, when Nathan yanked the utensil away.

"Toki, stop it!"

"What? I didn't do anythings!"

Nathan glared at him.

"We all literally just saw you flick food at Skwisgaar."

"What? He deserves it! He ams a dead beats dads and doesn't helps supports me or his babies!"

That, finally, caught Skwisgaar's full attention.

"I tries to be theres and yous yells at me!"

"Ja, because you ams a man whores!" Toki shot back.

"Jesus Christ," Nathan mumbled, "Will you cut it out, Toki? You've been bothering Skwisgaar for days and we're all getting tired of it."

Toki crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, Toki, Nathan's right," Pickles chimed in. "It's, uh, gettin' pretty frustrating to watch."

Toki sighed loudly.

"Of course you takes his side! Everyone likes Skwisgaar mores than me! Maybe I should just leaves and raise the babies alone on the streets!"

"Okay, you're gonna make yourself have those fake contraction things again. Calm down," Nathan instructed.

"How can I be calms when everyones taking his sides?!" Toki yelled. He stood up as fast as he could and headed towards the door.

Nathan shook his head, hating the drama that had come between them.

00

Nathan knew that Toki probably wouldn't listen to any lecture he gave on forgiveness, so he asked Charles to visit him instead.

The manager found Toki in his room, lying on his bed, once again staring at the ceiling. His headphones were pulled over his stomach again, blasting angry metal music.

"Uh, hi Toki," Charles greeted him. "Playing your baby some music?"

"Ja." Toki answered. He didn't make eye contact.

"I see. Well, as you may realize, the band asked me to come talk to you about what's going on with Skwisgaar."

"Pfft," Toki sat up, "He ams a mans whores, that's whats going on! He cheated on me with the sluts!"

"Right, and I can understand why that's hurtful, but is it really productive to do all of this to him?"

"It feels good, if thats whats you means."

"Right." Charles had forgotten Toki's penchant for revenge. "Right, I get that, but you're going to end up making things worse. I doubt the band will want you to stay if you keep this up, Toki. You need to think about that."

"Of course they sides with hims. They likes him mores," Toki said, sadly.

"It's more of that you're delaying their practices and making them uncomfortable, whereas Skwisgaar isn't acting out. I'm not saying that you have to like the man, but you need to work on at least getting along with him when you play."

Toki sighed.

"It ams hards. I always liked Skwisgaar. Since we first met. I hads these dreams for us, for our family." Toki felt as if he were about to cry again. He hated how often that happened.

Charles felt a pang of sympathy.

"You know, I think that if you could be friends, you could still have some of those experiences that you dreamed of. The fact that Skwisgaar tried to be in a relationship with you proves that he's serious."

"But he cheated on me," Toki replied.

"Skwisgaar isn't good at long term monogamy. That doesn't mean he can't be there to help you raise the baby. He cares about you and the child. Haven't you noticed that he hasn't fought back against you at all?"

"Ja."

"That means something, Toki. You need to really think about all of this."

"Ja, okays," Toki agreed. "I will."

"Good. And feel free to come to me if you ever need to talk, okay? I'm here for you boys."

"Thanks," Toki answered. "I appreciates it."


	13. Chapter 13

Toki stayed in his room for the rest of the night, thinking about how he would approach Skwisgaar. He would have to remember to keep calm and not yell.

He was determined to speak to him later that day, maybe after practice. He hoped that Skwisgaar would listen to him.

Right before breakfast, there was a knock on his door. Toki opened it, expecting Charles or Nathan. Instead, Skwisgaar was standing there.

"Skwisgaar," Toki mumbled. "H-how are you?"

"No 'whats you wants mans whores'?" Skwisgaar asked, half jokingly.

"I… I ams sorry for all of that," Toki replied, eyes focused on the ground.

"Ja, it's okays. I came here to apologize to yous toos. Can I come ins?"

"Ja." Toki lead Skwisgaar towards the bed, where they both sat down.

Skwisgaar took a deep breath.

"Toki, I ams sorrys that I hurts yous. I didn't means to do it, but I was upsets."

Skwisgaar stopped for a moment and looked at the other guitarist, trying to tell if his words were registering. Toki was looking straight at him now, so he supposed they were.

"I know yous are mad, but if you can forgives me, I can helps you."

"Did Charles talk to you too?" Toki asked. This conversation sounded like something that Charles would set up.

"Ja, and he was rights. I should be theres for you, even if I ams just a friends. That is, if yous wants me to be theres."

"It ams not fair to the babies to keep yous aways."

"But you needs to be happy too."

Toki thought this over.

"I was wrong, too. I pushed yous aways, and asks you to dos everythings for me. I expected too much. So maybes...Maybes I lower my expectations. And just keeps you as a friends."

"I will do my bests to helps. I don't haves a dads, so hopefully I won't screws up."

"Maybes we can have family days. Like goes to the zoo or the carnival and sees the clowns," Toki suggested.

"You and the clowns," Skwisgaar shook his head. "But ja, that woulds be nice."

Toki rested a hand on his stomach.

"I ams sorries about the recordings, and taking your strings, and breaking your stuffs."

"It ams okay," the blonde replied, sincerely. "It was a bad recordings anyways."

The two guitarists sat in silence for a moment until a thought crossed Skwisgaar's mind.

"Did you say 'she'? It ams a goils?"

Toki couldn't help but grin.

"Ja. Sorries, I let it slips."

Skwisgaar smiled back.

"That ams cool. I'm sure yous give her a metal name."

"I'll give her a beautifuls name!"

Skwisgaar stared at him.

"Okays, fine," Toki conceded. "A beautifuls metal name, then."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thanks for reading!

Toki was in the middle of tuning his guitar when it happened.

He felt one of the worst pains he'd ever felt in his life.

"Agh!" He cried out, dropping the instrument.

The rest of the band turned to face him.

"You okay, Toki?" Nathan asked.

"No… It hurts!"

Skwisgaar quickly moved to pick up Toki's abandoned guitar.

"You thinks yous maybes having contractions?"

"Ja… Maybes? I don't knows." Toki braced himself as another wave of pain hit him. "But it hurts!"

"Okay, practice is officially over," Nathan said.

The rest of the band put their instruments down.

"We ought to get him to the hospital." Pickles was making his way over.

"But I ams not due for another two weeks!" Toki protested. He glanced down at his stomach, "You stays in there, babies!"

"I don't think it works that way. If the kid wants to come, it's gonna come."

Murderface laughed at that statement and Pickles rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean. I'll call Charles."

While Pickles was on his Dethphone, Skwisgaar offered Toki his hand.

"Yous can squeeze my hands if it hurts."

Toki was stunned.

"But that ams your life! What if I breaks it?"

"Oh. Right. Nathan?"

Nathan shook his head, but took over Skwisgaar's spot.

"Here." He took hold of Toki's hand, "Do what you gotta do."

Toki nodded appreciatively.

"Charles says to take Toki up right now. He'll meet us there," Pickles informed them.

"Think you can walk?" Nathan asked.

Toki swallowed nervously. He really didn't want to go to the hospital, not now. It was too early! If the baby was born too soon, it might die! But… it didn't seem like he had much of a choice.

"Nevermind," the singer stood up, and picked Toki up bridal style. "I'll take you."

Toki didn't argue. He let the larger man carry him and the group made their way towards the elevator.

00

"It seems like that baby wants out!" Dr. Carlson exclaimed, after he'd finished examining Toki.

"But it's too early," Toki replied, tears welling up in his eyes. He didn't want his baby to die!

"Yes, you are a two weeks early, but the fetus looks well developed. I think she'll be fine."

"Okays," Toki mumbled, staring down at his hands. Right then, another contraction hit, and his groaned in pain.

"Let's get him prepped for surgery," the doctor ordered.

00

Skwisgaar paced the hallway outside of the operating room. Dr. Carlson was in there with a surgeon and a team of nurses working to perform a c-section on Toki.

They'd been in there for over an hour, and the blonde was starting to worry.

"What if the babies dead?" He asked, directing his question to Pickles. The whole group was there.

"Aw, Skwis, I'm sure she'll be just fine," Pickles reassured him.

"Yeah," Nathan echoed, "They'll be done any minute now and -"

As he said that, a siren went off. Suddenly a voice came over the intercom.

"Code blue, code blue! Doctor Hermann, please report to the OR!"

"Code blue, doesn't that mean heart attacks?!" Skwisgaar asked.

"Well, I… uh…" Nathan trailed off.

A group of nurses ran by, followed by a young man in a doctor's coat. All of them ran into the operating room.

"You need to stay calm," Charles told him, placing a hand on his shoulder, "There are three doctors in there working extremely hard. And Toki is strong."

Skwisgaar wasn't one for panic, but he couldn't help it. Toki was going to die, as was their daughter.

"Oh Gods, oh Gods," he began repeating, wringing his hands as he paced.

"Shit, I hope he doesn't die," Murderface said. "That'd suck. I'd go back to being the ugly one again."

"You've always been the ugly one," Pickles replied.

"Na-uh, Toki's fat now."

"But you're ugly and fat."

"I'm thinner than Toki!"

"Once he has the baby he'll go back to being thin again. Do you actually think anything through?"

"Will you shut up?!" Skwisgaar yelled. The discussion was making him angry. Toki was dying in there, and they were talking about his appearance?!

"Yeah, okay, jeez," Pickles answered. "Calm down."

"How can I calms down?! Toki's dying in theres!"

As if on cue, there came the sound of a cheer from the OR. Shortly thereafter came the sound of a baby crying.

"I'll take that as good news," Charles said, watching as Skwisgaar relaxed ever so slightly.

"He could stills be deads. Maybe just the babies was borns."

"I doubt they'd be cheering if that were the case. Oh, look here's Dr. Carlson."

The doctor walked through the door, his coat still covered in blood.

"Charles?" The doctor looked at the manager, "Come with me."

00

"I'm coming too," Skwisgaar declared. "It ams my babies, I'm coming too."

"Okay, sure," the doctor replied.

Skwisgaar was glad that the doctor didn't fight him on that.

His heart pounded in his chest as he walked. Was Toki okay? Was the baby okay? What if it was deformed, or messed up because it didn't get oxygen because Toki died?

A million thoughts ran through Skwisgaar's head. He was so distracted that he nearly walked into a wall.

"Here we are," Dr. Carlson said, stopping before a large window overlooking the OR.

To Skwisgaar's delight, Toki seemed to be breathing. At least, he had a heartbeat and his chest was rising up and down.

"As you may have heard, we had to call a code blue. Toki doesn't take too well to anesthesia, and his heart stopped. However, we were able to start it again, and to deliver the child."

"Thank Gods," Skwisgaar mumbled. "Tokis will be okays?"

"He wasn't without oxygen for that long, so he should be alright. He's resting now, but we expect him to wake up soon."

Another cry caught everyone's attention. Skwisgaar and Charles looked to see a nurse cleaning off the baby.

"She's okays, too, rights?" Skwisgaar asked.

"Yes, more than okay. A healthy 6 pound baby girl! Would you like to hold her?"

"I don't know," Skwisgaar answered. He was scared, really. What if he dropped the baby? Or what if it hated him?

Charles smiled at the guitarist.

"I think you ought to, Skwis. I'll go with you if you'd like."

"I, um. Ja, okays," he said meekly.

The doctor led them into the OR and introduced them to the nurse, who gladly handed off the infant to Skwisgaar.

As he looked down at her, his jaw dropped. She was quite a pretty baby, with blonde hair and blue eyes.

"I can't believes it."

Hearing that, Charles smiled.

Skwisgaar held the baby a little tighter. He reached out to touch her hand, and the baby grabbed onto his finger.

"Wows."

"She looks like a mix of you both."

"Ja. She's so tinys."

A second later, the little girl opened her mouth and let out a massive scream.

"Wows, she cans screams toos!" Skwisgaar smiled. He could already imagine her doing vocals in a metal band.

"Yes, she can."

"Be quiets," Skwisgaar told her, gently rubbing a thumb against her cheek, "Your other daddies will wake ups soon. But we need to let him rests for nows."

00

As the doctor had suggested, Toki did wake up soon enough. He opened his eyes to see the band gathered at his bedside, Nathan taking his turn holding the baby.

"Toki!" Nathan greeted him. "You're awake!"

"Ja…"

"Your heart stopped, man!" Pickles informed him. "They had to bring ya back from the dead!"

"I don't remembers thats." He glanced around, "Ams thats my babies?"

"No, it's Murderface's baby," Nathan said.

"Huh?" Toki was still somewhat out of it. "Murderfaces, you hads a babies toos?"

"No way! I wouldn't want to ruin my figure like that!"

"It's already ruined," Skwisgaar quipped. "It ams your babies, Tokis."

"Our babies. It ams our babies," Toki corrected him.

"Ja. Our babies." Skwisgaar smiled and took the baby from Nathan then handed it off to Toki. The little girl was sleeping once again, but opened her eyes once her father took hold of her.

"Wowie… She ams beautifuls!"

"You expected something else?" Skwisgaar joked.

"No, I means… She ams perfects."

"You, uh, got a name for her?" Pickles asked.

"Her name ams Winter."

That caught everyone off-guard.

"Winter, eh?"

"That doesn't sound very metal," Nathan said.

"What? Everything ams dead in winter!" Toki responded.

Skwisgaar shook his head and smiled again.

"It ams metals and beautifuls, Tokis. Just like her."


End file.
